Am I Too Old to Be Angsty?

When I hear good music I question my existence.

I wonder what I am doing with my life.

Yes, I feel like I am wasting it- that I should be doing something “bigger”, something that means something, feeling anything other than emptiness, bitterness and being angry at everyone and everything- especially myself.

What am I listening to?

Mistaken for Strangers by The National.

Appropriate no?

If I were a teenager it would be angst. At my age it, angst would be pushing it. A mid-life crisis would be more believable.

I am beyond bummed that they played at the ACC last week and I did not know who they were until now. Someone new in the office is really into music and went to see them so I checked out the band and I LOVE them. I should have YouTubed them sooner but I like her and was afraid the band would suck and I would judge her for it- because I am that kind of person.

But I digress.

The lead singer’s voice is familiar and yet not- certainly a balm against all the falsetto that one is exposed to these days- not a bad thing, just refreshingly different. Okay, Matt Berninger is a perhaps a bit Nick Cave-y- though not quite as emotive.

Okay, I laughed to myself as I wrote that.

Maybe I am just drawn to non-emotive emotion backed by creatively layered musical accompaniment- especially if the music is bright and liltingly driven in contrast to a voice that is strong and yet compellingly unvaried.

Does that make any sense to anyone other than me?

Some people are instantly taken with lyrics but my hearing is crap so what grabs me is the music, the voice, the mood and this song had me at the rough and slightly raw opening.

I just want to dance when I hear this song- in that way we danced to alternative music about 20 years ago.

I am meeting a friend tonight to check out live music at the Cameron and I am going to share this with her. She’ll understand the feelings I can’t seem to articulate with any sort of intelligence or coherence – how artistic talent can be transformative while it depresses the hell out of you, giving you hope as it makes you feel hopeless.

If I were a teenager, this would be profound.

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~ by angryegg on December 12, 2011.

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