I Just Did A Very Mean Girl Thing….

And I am feeling guilt.

Damn my bloody conscience.

I usually keep a stash of treats at my desk but I don’t really have a sweet tooth so I offer them to people who sit around me.

But there is one guy who makes me crazy.

He is such a crybaby whiner mooch. I made excuses for him in the past but the straw that broke my back was when he went to my supervisor to cry about something not being done for him moments (literally) after admitting that his department had a lot of free time on their hands to assist us in any way possible.

Right.

All the little annoying things, when put together, enrages me.

I had a container of sours in my hand when he walked by. His arm was reaching to grab some candy and I evaded him on the pretense of going to legal to head off a potential situation that had just come to light that would impact the financing of a show.

It all happened in slow motion.

I was sincerely distracted because this legal matter needs to be cleared up but the mean girl side of me reared its ugly head and candy blocked him.

My intentions were not honourable but would it have annoyed me more if I gave in and let him have some?

Probably. If I gave in and did the right/nice thing, he would see that as encouragement to start coming by my desk again and scrounging for food. It doesn’t matter that he easily makes three times what I make and is not months away from unemployment.

I’d have to kick myself even harder than I am now. Obviously I am not a very evolved Buddhist. I am going to come back and have to deal with this again (and again).

I would have given in when I was younger (and foolish enough to care more about what people thought of me) but now I am old and crotchety and my inner mean girl wants to come out and play.

But I still feel guilty.

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~ by angryegg on April 8, 2010.

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