Why Do I Keep Doing This To Myself?

I am so angry I can’t even think straight.

The last time I was this angry, I had just found out how much my former boss was making- after she sold my colleague and I out for the promotion and pay raise.

I know it is naïve to expect to be treated fairly but I think I have just crossed into the “stupid” category.

Stupid, stupid me.

I don’t even know why I am so angry since I may not have a job in two weeks but it’s the principle.

And the fact that I’m an INTJ with a very strong sense of justice.

I wouldn’t be this angry if she were competent (and had enough of a grasp of the English language to understand what a synopsis is) but we have been spoon feeding her and her whiny boss for weeks and there is the refusal to even try and figure things for themselves- especially grating when they (by their own admission) have a lot more time and less pressing deadlines than our department.

I know my current boss has promised to get me and my colleague a bump up when this craziness is over but he really has no say in what happens. All he can do is ask and the company has every reason in the world to say no.

Someone very callously said once that I should just quit if I was so unhappy but as stupid as I may be, I won’t do anything rash. As much as I would love to just leave, I would be hurting my friends and myself more than the entity I am really cheesed with.

People more optimistic than I have said that it is the same sh!t everywhere. Their thinking is stay with the devil you know.

Call me naïve but I refuse to believe that every company is like that- I worked for a good one once. Good companies run by good people exist.

I understand that hard decisions have to be made sometimes but you don’t have to such @sses. Get your heads out of the f*cking sand and pay attention to what is happening around you.

Well, I have been saying the best case scenario is to be one of those given extended notice. The big decision would be made for me and I would have a definite end date with which to work towards.

Should I be careful about what I wish for?

Perhaps, but if I truly believe this is the best case scenario, then bring it on because I have had enough and I am ready to move on.


~ by angryegg on February 26, 2010.

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