Ooops, I Did It Again…

I vowed that I would never do it again. I have let this person take advantage of me time and time again and when the debt was finally paid (how is it that I was made to feel guilty about that???) I said I would never let myself get into that situation again.

And then I broke that promise to myself last week.

What the f@ck was I thinking?

In my defense, I was sick and I have been under a lot of stress…. I guess “never” wanes with time and distraction.

Or maybe I am just a big loser with “SUCKER” permanently etched on her forehead.

It has been drilled into me by my parents to be the responsible one.

zzzzzzzzzzzz….

I know, exciting, eh?

But this goes beyond my immediate family. I have lent “friends” money in the past and have not always gotten it back.

Just say no doesn’t always work for me when people are in dire straits and I feel compelled to help. We are all adults and we all make mistakes but I have to stop “helping” the people who keep making the same mistakes over and over again. At that point I am not longer helping but enabling.

It is easy to work through the logic of it after the fact, in the light of day, when I am no longer medicated. It will be interesting to see how long it takes to get my money back and how much grief I will get asking for it (back).

Since I am looking at spending all the money I have (left) to renovate the house, maybe people won’t hit me up for it anymore. At least I’ll be able to say I am tapped out.

Oh family, can’t live with them, can’t live without them.

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~ by angryegg on August 28, 2009.

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