In Praise of Older Women

A friend of mine (thanks LC) forwarded this “bit” from that old codger, Andy Rooney, of 60 Minutes fame. It was too good not to share.

A warning, some pigs might find this offensive.

 

 

As I grow in age, I value women over 40 most of all. Here are just a few
reasons why:


A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, ‘What are you thinking?’ She doesn’t care what you think.

If a woman over 40 doesn’t want to watch the game, she doesn’t sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it’s usually more interesting.

Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won’t hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.  

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it’s like to be unappreciated.  

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40.

Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

 Older women are forthright and honest. They’ll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one. You don’t ever have to wonder where you stand with her!

Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who say, ‘Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?’, here’s an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage! 

Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it’s not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress.

 

 

 

 I think I laughed out loud (sorry cubicle-mates).

 

 

I am turning the big 4-0 this year. It’s a little surreal but I am looking forward to it. My b-day is 09-09-2009. It will be my most auspicious 40th– I see a big shindig in my near future. 

 

 

I have always thought I would hit my stride in my 40s. People tend to look at me like I am a little nuts when I say this. I don’t know why but I have always looked forward to 40 and beyond. Having good role models probably helped.

 

 

In a society that worships youth, I am not surprised.

 

 

A lot of my friends are turning 40 this year and most are freaking out. I have never been a big birthday celebrator but ones that end in 5 or 0 tend to hold a little more significance.

 

 

It would probably be more difficult if I looked my age (whatever that means), though I wonder if I am deluding myself sometimes. I was one of those people who resisted Facebook for the longest time but finally broke down and got on that bandwagon this summer. It was crazy to connect with people I haven’t heard from or really thought about in more than 20 years. I was blown away by how some people looked EXACTLY the same and how others looked like 57 year old suburban housewives…which is fine if you are a 57 year old suburban housewife- not so much if you are a 30-something.

 

 

It made me wonder if I looked much older than I was (considering that I sometimes feel closer to 80) and just saw what I wanted to see. My sister may live overseas but if I looked that haggard- a snide comment would slip itself into conversation, guaranteed. The texture of my skin has changed, the fine lines around the eyes are no longer fine and no, my hair is not that shiny- it’s just the white hairs glinting in the light.

 

 

I have never been thin (not with this short, stumpy peasant body of mine that would have been well suited to planting in the rice paddies) but I can no longer eat with impunity. That sucks! The only options are to eat less and or workout more…Since food is one of my great pleasures, it will be a (very) little of the former and a lot (!) more of the latter.

 

 

But physical changes aside, I am much more comfortable with who I am, what I want, my behaviour and my choices. I refuse to keep toxic people in my life (who has the time?) and though I have many acquaintances, I am comfortable with my small circle of very good friends.

 

 

If I want to do something, I’ll do it in my own time, on my own terms and on my own if need be.

 

 

I know it is just a number but it is a biggish one. People will make assumptions about you regardless of your age but a certain mythology envelops this one. You can use it to your advantage or not, your choice. There is always a chance that I will think differently as the day approaches but I doubt it.

 

 

No apologies and (except for fleeting moments of self-reflection gone slightly awry) no regrets.

 

 

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~ by angryegg on February 9, 2009.

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