Oh Gwynnie…

My friend thinks Gwyneth Paltrow is the cat’s @ss.

(I prefer Cate Blanchette. Obviously we have nothing in common.)

I read Lainey Gossip religiously and was alerted a few weeks ago to the pending launch of GOOP, Gwynnie’s first fledging step towards a lifestyle empire… GOOP is Gwynnie’s gift to the common people. Oprah, Martha, watch out!

Do I regret telling her about the newsletter that she subscribed to the second we finished our conversation? No! BIG entertainment value! 

The topics are defined as Make, Go, Get, Do, Be, See. I am shallow so I zoned in on the two newsletters sent out under the heading Get- Gwynnie shares her secrets to dressing well. 

No, being 5’10 and 120 lbs is NOT one of the tips.

A uniform, ladies and gentlemen, is the secret to taking the guess work out of everyday dressing. Basics, classics…REVELATION. Unfortunately, there weren’t any pieces that cost less than a typical (or not so typical) mortgage payment.

I dove into a tub of ice cream as I lamented my very average body and woefully inadequate bank account. 

Maybe if I weren’t so passive, I would be thinner, marry a rock star (Guy Berryman, call me) and be able to afford a closet full of Christian Louboutins.

The second GET newsletter attempts to make things slightly more accessible by mixing high and low (but not too accessible because the masses need to covet). For me, the examples were more accurately stratospheric and “I-want-to-pull-the-trigger-but-I-think-I’ll-wait for-the-sale.” Three basic dresses are accessorized to achieve a day and an evening look. She also demonstrates her craftiness by going all D.I.Y with one of the dresses. See- she is just like us. 

Next week, she will share recipes for her favourite holiday, Thanksgiving. I wonder if we will get more tuna sandwiches made with tuna steaks?

Take a nibble- you know you want to….

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~ by angryegg on November 19, 2008.

One Response to “Oh Gwynnie…”

  1. Oh my dear friend, you are hysterical. My mornings have improved since you started this blog, sincerely. I still love Gwynnie, just like I love the Charlotte character on Sex & The City. Please let me just think that for some, life really is like that. It’s all because of my preppie university and some royal influences a long time ago. Please let me hang on to my faux pearls a little while longer. And keep the witty, clever and realistic posts coming – I do love them!!

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